Chere bloggeuse,

Well, tonight marks the first (of hopefully few) bumps in the road.  Made cookies tonight with a friend... and was reminded why I don't make them at home.  I consumed more cookie dough and cookies this evening than I have in a good long while...

I do realize that I am human and that everyone makes mistakes along the way in the weight-loss journey.  However, I want so badly to be able to be a person who can take control and indulge without going overboard, which is something that, being a Mitzell, I have struggled with my whole life.  It's so frustrating - one cookie wasn't enough. Or two.  Or three ... and now I feel awful, as I always do. Why isn't this motivation enough in the first place?!

The only good news to report is that I nuked somewhere around 1000 calories working out today (not exaggerating - I counted, included cleaning the apartment for two and a half hours, too) so the damage that could have been done was at least minimalized.  Though I am relieved in that sense, I am also sad knowing that I could have been down tomorrow, when in fact I know I will not be.

Going back to work tomorrow. School's in session again! We have our first classes next Monday.  I'll be spending the week planning.  At least tomorrow is a new day.  And, this is not a destination - it is a journey.  And, I guess not all journeys are perfect.  Which actually reminds me of a French proverb, one of my favorites:  "Quelquefois le mieux est l'ennemi du bien." "Sometimes doing your best [perfection] is the enemy of your well-being."

Did I enjoy the cookies? Yes.  Will this set me back?  Absolutely not. More importantly, will I regret it on my deathbed 60 years from now?  No.  Because I lived a little.  And I guess maybe every once in a while, we do so because subconsciously, we need to.  Do you make a habit out of it?  No - but perhaps realizing that you are human and that mistakes are going to happen isn't such a bad thing when they do happen, because it's expected.  And in any case, all the more motivation to jump back on the wagon the following day.

It may be hard for me to accept that I have these imperfections.  But at least I'm owning up to them and willing to face them.  I am a cookie monster; what can I say? But I know it and am willing to try to keep him from wreaking havoc on my blood sugar EVERY TIME there's a plate of cookies lying around.  If cookie monster was French, though, he would savor one cookie instead of 10... and that's the cookie monster I need to channel into me when cookies are lying around in an environment that is not my own.

So in closing, I'd like to offer this self-made motto to myself: "eat many, feel crumb-y; eat one, and be done!"  And that's just how the cookie crumbles. ;)